


Happy Accidents

by ohHOLYmoves



Series: Domestic Bliss [2]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, Happy Ending, Temporary Character Death, brief mentions of past angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-12-09 18:29:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20999363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohHOLYmoves/pseuds/ohHOLYmoves
Summary: “Your daughter is in love.”“Mom!”“Hope! You are!? Oh my gosh, tell me everything!”Beau delights in the way Hope throws her a mock glare and mouths the word traitor then, immediately after, bounces on her toes in tandem with Jester and they rush off to gush about eyes the color of a sunset and abs, Mama, the abs.Or, Beau gives their daughter love advice in the form of telling her how she and Jester fell in love





	Happy Accidents

“Hey Mom? Can I ask you something?”

Beau cracks an eye open from her spot on her meditation mat, sizing up her child standing off to her right and temporarily blotting out the sun. She’s still in the travel clothes she wears when she teleports to Rosohna for classes with Caleb and appears fine if not a bit ruffled. There is an intensity burning around her and in the way she clenches her fists around the strap of her component bag that interests Beau. It makes her look far older than she has any right to. It feels like just yesterday she was still a tiny terror running around with Jester, screaming and cackling as they chased Beau with wooden swords. Now she’s on the threshold of being an adult. Still spindly for certain but coming into herself and getting that flicker in her eye that Jester had when they first met. Something chaotic and precious and unobtainable. It back lights the color of her eyes even as she fidgets and tips her head down, in hopes of hiding the barely concealed marks on her neck more than likely. Beau closes her eye once more and inhales a deep breath.

“This seems like a thing for your Mama.”

“I haven’t even said anything yet!”

Beau unfolds her hands to tap against her own neck where she had seen the marks on Hope. There is a huff and some grumbled curses that make Beau smile.

“Okay, normally, I’d go to Mama but…” She trails off long enough that Beau opens her eyes again to soak in the worry stressing her daughter’s freckled face. Beau follows her gaze as it lifts to the house behind them, back to the doors still open from where Beau left to do her morning meditation on the beach, and frowns when Hope does. There is a sudden storm behind her eyes lit by that spark that spreads down her frown, lifting the lip enough to show teeth when she breaths a heavy, sharp sigh. Her tail lashes behind her, kicking up sand.

“Okay, okay, okay,” Hope throws herself onto the mat beside Beau, thick curls of black hair veiling her eyes shortly only to be batted away in annoyance, “I need you to tell me the truth.”

Beau leans back on her palms, kicking her legs in front of her. The surf swishes gently in the distance from where it laps at the shore and Beau watches it in quiet contemplation. It’s odd for Hope to come to her for these sorts of things. If Hope got anything from Jester, it was her chaotic streak and her love of causing havoc with a little thing or a little lie. What truth could she possibly prefer over a silly lie?

“You okay? Everything at school fine? No one hurt you, did they?”

“Yeah, no. I mean, yes? I’m fine. I just think I might be in love, but I don’t really know. I mean,” Hope shakes her head with a pout and throws her arms up in exasperation, “I mean, how are you supposed to fucking tell?”

“Oh dude, you _definitely _came to the wrong mom. Jester! Jes, come out here!”

“No,” Hope’s eyes bulge, and she slaps at Beau’s shoulder and arm, “Stop it! I want to talk to you!”

“But _why_? Jes is the one who is all true love and bullshit.”

“_Exactly._”

Beau blinks in surprise. Hope’s face twists in a visible cringe and she wilts, melting against the safety of her mother. Her forehead presses against Beau’s bicep, fingers curling around her wrist, hiding the shame of her accidental insult. 

“I didn’t mean it like that. I love Mama, more than anything. She’s my favorite. I mean, you’re my favorite too. I can have two. Obviously, I don’t have one favorite more… favorite than the other—”

“You’re getting distracted. You might be in love and can’t talk to Jester because…?”

“When I was a kid, my absolute favorite story was the one Mama told about you two. About how you met and how you fell in love and how _perfect _it was. And I still love it. It’s just…every time she told it, it changed a little. ‘Cause she’s Mama and that’s what she does, and I loved it. Especially the version where she fell off a horse and you caught her, and the sunlight was shinning on your hair and your—”

“Fuck, what? Why is this the first time _I’ve _heard about this version? I thought there was a dragon involved. I agreed to the dragon version ‘cause it made me sound badass.”

Hope pulls away, eyes big and fingers tightening on her wrist, “Mom, that’s what I mean. I have heard so many versions and I love them all, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard the truth.”

“Okay, I get that, but…why is the truth so important now?”

“_Because_ Mom. I think I’m in love, but I have no idea of knowing because it’s not anything like _any _of the stories Mama told me. So, so,” Beau can hear her shaky breath, can see the tension in her jaw as she chews at her lip, “So am I really in love? I mean, what’s it like Mom? What’s it _really _like? How…how did you know you loved Mama?”

“Oh.” It’s surreal sometimes to think that Beau is charged with raising another person when only yesterday she was a broken fool who spent most of her years unloved and unwanted. It’s surreal that Beau has come far enough that a person looks up to her and needs her wisdom. It’s surreal that Beau _has _wisdom to give. Sometimes, when she’s lost in her thoughts during these morning meditations, she wonders what would have become of her if she had never run from the Cobalt Soul and met the others. She thinks she would likely would have died. The cloud over head left too heavy a weight in those days and it would have drug her down. Now, by some strange twist of fate, the unloved girl who never had a mother _is _a mother. It still doesn’t feel fair or right, sometimes. Beau doesn’t feel like she fully deserves the unending outpour of love from not just Jester but from Hope too. Little Hope who looked at her with big eyes and trust since could talk and who has never known any other parental figures except Jester _and _Beau. It’s not what Beau ever expected but she wouldn’t change it for anything.

“Okay, first,” Beau flicks her braid over the opposite shoulder and adjusts so she’s facing Hope head on, taking one hand between both of her own, “just to be clear, you know your Mama didn’t make up all those stories just to lie to you, right?”

“Oh, of course! She would never! I didn’t mean it like that! Oh no, oh gosh, did it sound that way!?”

“No, no, chill. It’s cool, I just wanted to make sure. Jessie wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. That’s sort of why she made all those stories up.”

Hope jerks subtly in her surprise, careful to keep her reaction from being too obvious. Beau swipes a soothing thumb over her knuckles. Hope would never admit to favoring one mother over the other—she _couldn’t_ if pressed—but she had always been Jester’s shadow when she was little. She was a Mama’s girl just like Jester was before her and Beau had always liked it that way. After all, she cherished and worshiped Jester just the same so why wouldn’t Hope? Knowing that would only make it more difficult for Beau to finally expose the truth; that her hero wasn’t infallible.

“Mama and I didn’t have a love at first sight, fairy tale kind of romance that she always dreamed of. Like, fuck, all the time. Out loud. When I was trying to sleep,” Beau rolls her eyes fondly as she is drawn back to those nights of _Tusk Love _and the naivety, “Mama was—she had a view on how she expected things to happen and she didn’t really understand how love worked either. She was only a year or two older than you when we met and had never left home before that and pretty much relied on books for all her worldly knowledge. And when we first met, she didn’t like me.”

“_What? _Like, _at all_!?”

“Okay, wait no. I mean, we were _friends_, but she was into Fjord. Like, really, _really _into Fjord.”

Hope’s face twists with distraught and distaste, _“Mama liked Uncle Fjord!? _Please, don’t tell me they—were they together? Oh my—_did you steal Mama from Uncle Fjord!? _Mom,” Now her eyes are lit up and she grips Beau’s arm in a vice, “that’s _so _romantic!”

“Dude—”

Hope interrupts, on a roll now, “Is Uncle Fjord my Dad!?”

“Ew, dude, _no. _Let me finish.”

“Okay,” Hope sits back, quiet for a second, then blurts, “but who is my Dad by the way since we are on the topic?”

Beau’s lips open then shut, filtering through her old memories to find the answer, then just shrugs, “Your Mama would be the one to ask, really. She didn’t talk to me much about it. Some elf dude she dated for a little while. Or maybe it was just sex, she never said how into him she was. Is that…something you want to know? I’m just realizing we never really talked to you about it. Like, _really _talked about it.”

And Hope shrugs, smiling in that sweet way that is pure Jester and tilts her head to the side, nose crinkling. It warms Beau’s heart.

“Not really.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I mean, I didn’t need a dad before and I don’t really need him now. I’ve got you and Mama. That’s all I want,” Hope lifts a shoulder, shining with sugary sweet affection, “I was just curious. Mama told me lots of stories about that too. She told me once that she found me in a basket outside of a pub in Tal’Dorei.”

Beau bursts with a small huff of amusement. She fucking loves that shit head. 

“Your Mama has never even been to Tal’Dorei.”

“I know.”

They both share a happy, playful smile that is saturated in their love for Jester.

“So anyway, your Mama didn’t like me at first. And that was fine ‘cause I didn’t really like her that way at first either. Because, listen, let me tell you, I was a fucking mess when I first met her. I was mad at the world and mad at myself—I was pretty fucking miserable, now that I look back on it. You know the whole story of how we became, you know, _The Mighty Nein.” _

“My second favorite story.”

“Right, so that was happening, and we were going through a lot of shit together. We were honestly _all _pretty fucked up in the beginning. In our own special ways. Things happened that changed us, traumatized us. Mama got a little tougher and a little wiser to the world and she started to realize all her concepts of love were just that, concepts. I don’t really know what changed it, but she stopped looking at Fjord that way and it was better after that because it felt kind of forced you know? Like she had been going after him because he waltzed in looking like one of those guys from her books, but he never acted like it.”

Hope leans in the slightest bit, earnest and excited, “And _then _you fell in love?”

“Eh, sorta. I did, at least. Not quickly and it took me a long fucking time to realize it. I slept with other women, I wasn’t perfect. It took me a while to realize that this feeling inside me wasn’t going away after sex because it wasn’t sex I wanted, it was Jessie,” Beau pauses when Hope interrupts with a whispered _cute _and flicks the girl’s ear before continuing, “Problem with that was, your Mama and I were best friends and she was the _only _friend I had ever had. I mean, by that point I had the whole Nein but Jess was the _first _and I was too scared to risk that. And I was pretty sure she didn’t feel the same way. So I just hung back, staying her friend and that was fine for a pretty long time—”

“Until it wasn’t, and you couldn’t control yourself anymore and kissed her passionately after confessing your undying love for her!”

Beau smirks, “You really are your mother’s daughter. No, none of that. It was fine for a long time but then your Mama asked me something one night that I couldn’t refuse even if I thought I should.”

“What did she ask?”

“If we—maybe this is too crass?”

Hope snorts, eyes shimmering with mischievous delight, and drops her chin on her knees hugged against her chest, “I don’t think you could say anything Mama hasn’t already told me. Or that I haven’t done myself.”

“Okay, yeah—not sure how I feel about that—but yeah. She asked if we could be…friends who have sex.”

“Oh,” The delight melts from the depths of Hope’s eyes and grows contemplative, “That doesn’t sound like a good idea. If you…”

“Oh, it wasn’t. So naturally I said hell yeah. ‘Cause, fun fact, your Mom is a self-destructive idiot. Or, at least, I was.”

“How long did that go on? I mean, if you two were having sex then how did I happen…?”

“I’m getting there, don’t rush me. So, we were…friends who have sex—”

“You can say fuck buddies, Mom. I’m not a kid.”

Beau cringes, “It’s just so weird hearing my daughter say that to me.”

Hope tinkles with bright musical laughter, “Mama told me you weren’t a prude. Was that another story?”

The laugher slips into Beau’s own bones and warms her chest, ringing a little more gravely than her daughter’s when it slips from her, “I guess I got old. You know, had a kid.”

“Got boring, crotchety.”

“Oh no, I’ve always been crotchety, I promise.” And this time they laugh together. Hope squeezes her hands after with a happy, encouraging smile.

“So, you were having sex…?

“Right, we were doing that. Like, a lot. So much. You’re Mama—”

Hope wiggles with delight, “I know, she’s told me. Are we finally at the part of the story where you admit you’re in love with her?”

“Please, you’re giving me more credit than I deserve. That is not what happens at all. What happens is we have a lot of sex and I fall even more crazy, deeply in love with her and realize that there probably will never be another woman I love as much as your Mama. And then, she died.”

The amusement and joy washes quickly from Hope’s face replaced quickly by a pale horror. Her lip quivers when she whispers in a broken tone, “She…died? What do you mean she _died_?”

“I mean, we were in the shit and being an adventurer is fun and full of glory and gold and all that shit they say but its also fucking dangerous. Especially for us because we were a bunch of idiots who always rushed into things before thinking. It was my fault that time, though. I insisted that we hurry because we were chasing someone, and they were running from us and I was so tired of everyone running from us. Fjord offered to come with me—we were breaking off into pairs ‘cause the place was huge—but then Jessie offered too and how could I ever choose anyone over her? So, we went in together all fast and loose and shit popped off in a _real bad _way. Without going into detail, Jess took too many hits and she went down. Hard. I picked her up and tried running her back to the others, so Cad could heal her, but I wasn’t fast enough and she...” Sometimes when Beau is relaxed or just about to sleep, she’ll feel Jester’s weight in her arms and the extra heft of blood soaking through both their clothes. Sometimes when its quiet she’ll hear the gurgle of Jester choking on her own blood, trying to speak but unable to, her hands clawing numbly at Beau’s clothes. She’ll hear the pitiful sounds Jester had made just before her eyes went blank and she had gone utterly, horribly still in Beau’s arms.

Hope swallows and Beau can see tears adding a shine to her eyes. Her head drops with her shoulders. “I didn’t know—I mean, she never told me. She always made it seem like your guys adventures were nothing but fun and exciting!” 

She adjusts so she can wrap a comforting arm around her daughter and pull her into her side, resting her temple against the top of Hope’s head. “Want to stop?”

“No. No, I just…I get why Mama never told me the truth now.”

“Well, that and because she’s a little shit.”

She feels Hope’s little laugh through their sides pressed together.

“Okay, keep going. Mama gets…brought back?”

“Yeah, by Caduceus. Everyone was pretty freaked about it except your Mama. Or at least, that’s the way she acted. Like it was no big deal, but it was a _huge _fucking deal. I wigged out a little, I’m not gonna lie. The next night, we settled in to do our usual thing but all I could see was her dying and I fully blamed myself for what happened. I couldn’t even look at her without feeling sick. So, I told her we couldn’t have sex anymore. I didn’t tell her why because I knew if I told her that then I would end up telling her that I loved her too and I wasn’t ready for that. It ended in a horrible fight where we both said shit we shouldn’t have and didn’t really mean and we didn’t really talk for a while after that. ‘Cause, what I didn’t know, was that your Mama had fallen for me at some point along the way and I accidentally broke her heart without meaning to. She died and then came back to me brushing her off without an explanation. It was shitty, I know. Neither of us were the best of communicators.”

“But,” Hope swivels sad eyes on Beau, “But it was okay in the end, right? You guys made up?”

“I mean,” Beau gestures at the house behind them and at Hope herself, “Obviously. But it took some time.”

“How much time?”

“Well, we eventually got back to being friends, but it wasn’t ever the same. I was so, so in love with her and she was secretly in love with me too and both of our hearts were breaking. We managed though. We saved the world—you know this part. A couple of times but people only remember the big one. Then, after we did all that, we went our separate ways. We were family though, so we promised to never go very far for very long and to visit often. Your Uncle Caleb went back to the Xhorhouse and opened a school there for kids from both sides, empire and dynasty. You know, you went. Cad went back to his cemetery. Yasha stayed with Caleb. She was muscle for a while but then started taking the kids out for their midday breaks and playing with them. You know, picking flowers and reading to them and shit. She didn’t really have anything she wanted to do after…everything. She just wanted calm. She found it best there, with you kids. Nott came back to Nicodranas with Jester and they opened a Detective Agency that did really fucking well from what I hear. But then they decided to close it and Nott floated between visiting Caleb and being with her family. Fjord started his fishing company in Port Damali and I went with him for a while. Then I did some monk shit, got bored with that, and went back to working with Fjord. Your Mama opened her shop after the Detective Agency and that flourished too. And that’s the way it was until we each got a message from her. You know the ones she sends.”

“I can do that too, now, by the way.”

Beau snorts and rolls her eyes, “Great.”

“So,” Hope nudges Beau’s ribs with her elbow, “what was the message?”

“Fuck, I’d have to remember. It was something like _Hey Beau, this is Jester. It’s been a while. Hope I’m not bothering you, just wanted to let you know I’m pregnant. Kay, bye.” _

“So, I wasn’t a magic love baby that the Traveler helped you two make?”

“…another story?”

Hope’s face splits with a beaming grin and Beau bonks their heads together, gently.

“Not a magic baby. Well, a magic baby but not a _magic _baby.”

“Boo. I liked that story. That and the one about Mama having an affair with a super rich and super handsome noble.”

Beau shakes her head but her heart swells with an uncontrollable fondness. Hope hadn’t yet been born and they had been making jokes for days about what they would tell her if she ever asked who her father was. That one was her idea when Jester had been bouncing different absurd stories off Beau for opinions. They had both gotten excited and carried away with the telling of Jester having an affair only to realize Beau was who she wanted in the end. They had laughed themselves into a frenzy, all heaving chests and burning lungs and teary eyes.

“Sorry, Cupcake. Nothing as interesting. Truth is, Mama just dated around for a while. You can ask her some time if you’re curious. She just said that she had been seeing an elf for a little while and that they had decided to part on amicable terms and it was a long while after he had left Nicodranas that she realized she was pregnant.”

“And this is where you come blowing in on the wind and finally tell Mama that she’s your soulmate and you two live happily ever after,” Hope casts a sharp eye towards her mother, “Right?”

“Almost. We all hurried back to Nicodranas to see her and see how she was handling the whole thing. It was the first time I had seen her since we all separated and that was…four years? Yeah, I think it was four years. So, I hadn’t seen her in four years and I thought I was finally okay enough for us to be friends again. I was excited to see her. I knew she’d be a good mom, that wasn’t even a fucking question, so I didn’t come in hot with a lot of questions about that. I just wanted to ask what her plans were, how excited she was, you know that kind of shit. But then, I came in and saw her and she was the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen and the first thing that came out of my mouth was, ‘_Do you want help raising it?’ _And, to cut it short, she never really said yes but I also never left. The others did, one by one, but I never did. And I watched her belly get bigger and we shared that together which was awesome, but she never really said yes because she didn’t need to after the first few months. I made it clear I wasn’t going to leave again and she did little things to make it clear she wanted me to stay. Then you were born, and I held you and I have never been so in love.” Beau feels something tighten in her throat just thinking about Hope, swaddled in blankets and squirming, screaming at the world from the cradle of Beau’s arms. There had been a surge of feelings that overtook her quickly and without mercy; fierce protectiveness, overwhelming joy, depthless and unconditional love. Nothing she ever felt after that compared to the feeling of holding her child for the very first time. Because Hope had been hers in that exact moment. Neither of them had needed to say it, they both knew it in their hearts. Beau had promised the screaming bundle that she would give her the world if she asked and she had kissed her gentler than she had ever kissed anyone. It revives such emotions in her that she can’t help but press a kiss to her daughter’s temple, like she had that day. Hope waves her off with a laugh, pulling back only a little.

“And _then _you confessed?”

“Nope. I held you and handed you to your Mama and we looked at you together. You held onto her finger real tight and she said sweet things to you and I watched. I remember thinking, _I love this woman more than anything. I want this, forever. _So I just asked her, then and there, if she would marry me. I wasn’t scared she would say no because I knew by then how she felt about me, and I was sure she knew how I felt too. She just smiled at me and said _I would have said yes a long time ago, you know. If you had asked._ And that’s how it went. What do you think?”

It’s certainly not like the many wonderous stories Jester concocted throughout the years and told with a relish to their wide-eyed daughter. This version wouldn’t make a very good book, Beau knows, because she had listened in from the shadows when Jester told them alongside actual fairy tales. A child wouldn’t—and shouldn’t have to—grasp such a complex and difficult story. She knows there is a small part of Jester that wanted to keep the truth from her child for her own reasons and Beau had respected that. But, moreover, Beau knows her wife simply enjoys bringing whimsy and merriment to anyone willing (or unwilling) and Hope became her biggest fan almost immediately. And Jester’s favorite victim. After a while, they all knew Hope understood the stories were fake and was likely old enough for the truth but the three of them enjoyed the game. And, still, maybe they both wanted to keep this shame hidden for as long as they could. It’s not easy to admit to your child how foolish you were even if it was in your youth.

Despite it, Hope warms with her usual air of happiness and nods slowly, as if she is deciding on something.

“It’s actually still very romantic. I think I like this version best,” Hope tilts her head with a beaming smile, “Just don’t tell Mama. I like her stories.”

Beau mirrors the smile, “Me too.”

“And, I think it helps.”

Beau’s throat tightens. Right, her girl is _in love. _Much too grown up, much too fast. Pretty soon she would be going on adventures of her own and leaving her mothers at home to worry and go grey. She’ll be able to fully, truly lament with Marion about when she had to watch Jester off all those years ago.

“Does it?”

“I think so. It’s not perfect or easy and its super confusing and kind of hurts a little but in a good way?”

Beau snorts and slings an arm over Hope’s shoulders, “Sounds like you got it bad, kid.”

A dopey look crosses her face, “I think I do.”

“Are they—what are they like?”

The look turns dreamy, “Super, super hot.”

“That’s not what I asked at all but it’s close enough, so I’ll take it.”

“_Hey_!” They both startle at the sudden shout and turn to a pouting Jester standing in the door, hands on her hips and eyes narrowed at the pair. Her long hair sways gently in the breeze and they can hear the tinkle of the jewelry and bells braided into it chime. The familiarity of it tugs on Beau’s heart and has her standing before she can think to, grinning like a fool. Jester takes it as something else—a challenge perhaps or a declaration of being up to no good—that makes her eyes go even sharper.

“I’ve been looking for you two for half an hour! What’s going on? Did you have a family meeting without me? Beau, you better not have!”

“We were just telling stories, Mama, I swear!” Jester’s face softens as it always does whenever Hope talks to her, no matter what she says. Beau always teased her about being completely wrapped around her daughter’s finger. _You spoil her, _Beau had joked, and Jester had flicked her a sharp, cheeky smile and said, _not yet but just wait. _It never failed to melt Beau’s heart.

Jester purses her lips in a pout that Hope inherited, “Without me?”

“One time only,” Beau assures her, kicking through the sand to meet her wife, “Guess what?”

Hope’s eyes widen at the same time Jester’s burn with a curious flame. She shakes her head violently and mimics sewing her mouth shut and Beau nods solemnly, a silent vow. For just a moment, just long enough for Hope to relax. Then she strikes. Then she slides her way to Jester’s side and curls an arm around her hips and presses her lips to Jester’s ear to whisper, “Your daughter is in love.”

“_Mom!_”

“Hope! You are!? Oh my _gosh, tell me everything_!”

Beau delights in the way Hope throws her a mock glare and mouths the word _traitor _then, immediately after, bounces on her toes in tandem with Jester and they rush off to gush about _eyes the color of a sunset_ and _abs, Mama, the abs_.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments and the like let me know you enjoyed it so if you're feeling so inclined.


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